While we’ve all heard about Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, you may not know the first speaker that day was Edward Everett, a bloviate who spoke for two hours. Then President Lincoln took the stage and spoke for 90 seconds with the opening words:
“Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”
Which is why it was so awkward to watch President Trump’s “Emptysburg Address” a week ago in Tulsa where he did 1 hour, 41 minutes of incoherent ramblings. How bad was it? Political columnist John Heilemann said, “Tulsa Trump is the new Fat Elvis.”
Ever been to a ’80s band concert that had three hits back in the day? They play those three songs and then play newer songs from their latest albums that no one has purchased in decades. We all stare at our cell phones, bored out of our minds ‘cuz we’ve never heard these songs before. That’s the latest version of a Trump 2020 rally. Did Trump talk about the economy in shambles? The 44 million Americans who’ve applied for unemployment? A global pandemic that the U.S. is leading, by far, in numbers of confirmed coronavirus cases and numbers of deaths? The racial divide in our country? Did he talk about any of these subjects and what he was gonna do to make things better for Americans? Nope, nope, nope and nope. Instead he regurgitated “fake news” and “Sleepy Joe” ‘cuz in the Trump orbit, if you ignore those things, they aren’t really happening.
When Trump talked about his disastrous West Point commencement speech, he spent 15 minutes talking about saluting 600 times. “It’s like a workout without a weight,” which is why he couldn’t raise a glass of water with one hand to his lips. His arm was too tired. Then Trump complained about the ramp he had to walk down and actually told the Army general that “I may have to grab you so fast,” to which the General instinctively lowered his hand in front of his crotch as a precaution to Trump’s signature move.
Even worse was Trump talking about the “kung flu.” “When you test to that extent, you’re gonna find more cases. So I said to my people, slow the testing down.” The White House tried to spin this as Trump “joking”. So Trump supporters, what do you think is funny about 128,000 dead Americans (and counting) on his watch and him doing racist jokes about it? The White House’s spin on the low turnout of Trump supporters at the Tulsa rally? “Trump was energized after the rally despite low turnout.” Trump ended his disastrous night with his “walk of shame” from the Marine 1 helicopter back to the White House residence.
I sure miss his classics, such as “Make America Great Again.” Funny, he’s been in office for 3½ years and we’re still not great yet?
“Build the Wall!” For the record, Trump did build a wall… around the White House as he was terrified of the peaceful protesters while hiding out in his bunker. Only Mexico didn’t pay for this wall — you and I did.
“Lock Her Up!” Although his supporters now realize should Trump lose this November and won’t have White House immunity and Attorney General Barr to run interference for him, could be that Trump gets locked up. I guess “Orange is the New Orange.” We got to witness a sad, old, bloated, senile, orange spray-tan raging with his past insults. Sad.
So please tell me President Trump’s 2020 campaign theme? This past week during a Fox News town hall event with Sean Hannity, he asked President Trump his top priorities for his second term. Trump rambled on and then reminisced on his 2016 election victory and insulted former National Security Adviser John Bolton. It seems like Trump is more concerned with campaigning than governing. He wants to perform in front of thousands of his adoring fans at rallies, just not deal with the important issues facing our country. Things are so bad for Trump that the conservative Wall Street Journal Opinion page said, “President Trump may soon need a new nickname for “Sleepy Joe” Biden. How does President-elect sound?”
Matthew Owen resides in Eureka, and believes the First Amendment allows for free speech, even when married to a Humboldt County supervisor.
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